A question that has troubled me for some time now is the following. Imagine I went to the doctor and to my surprise he would find out that due to some unexpected disease, I have 6 more months to live. I would walk home and on my way, I would start thinking about death and wonder whether it would all be over after I die. I would then ask myself:
“Do I expect to meet God after I die? Would I be surprised to meet him?”
I find it unsettling to think about this. Because in some way I think I would be surprised (though I’m not really sure about it – isn’t it strange that we have a hard time finding out what we ourselves really believe?).
But at the same time, hope for that time “when everything will be fine and whole and glorious” has always been one of the intense parts of my faith (regardless of whether I believed strongly in it or not).
Isn’t everybody – even the average Christian – somehow deep down unsure about what will really happen when s/he dies? After all, even the most fervent believer must admit that in some sense she doesn’t really “know”.
On the one hand, I live with the impression that there’s some silent agreement amongst all of us believers. The agreement gos like this: We all know that when we’d be totally honest, we’d have to admit not to expect to be hanging out with Jesus the day our friends meet for the funeral meal, but we keep silent about this skepticism-deep-down-in-our-soul. On the other hand, I have to admit that this impression of mine is probably wrong. In my life of doubt it has just become completely normal to me to be unsure about the reality of God and unless I am reminded every week at least once by other people that they really&truly do fully believe the Christian story, I start to project my own perspective on them. And to my perspective it is completely alien to have strong confidence in the truth of Christianity and to have strong beliefs about what happens after we leave this old planet.
Another thought that crosses my mind is this: Is it
- strange or
- wrong or
- normal or
- praiseworthy & a sign of true faith
to be a Christian and at the same time be so agnostic about the reality of God as to expect to be surprised should one meet him after death?
Hmm, I guess the only way to find out what people really believe is to ask them. But to ask questions of this nature, you need to establish a good level of trust with someone – either as a close friendship, or an environment like a discussion group.
For what it’s worth, I think almost all Christians I’ve discussed with say “everyone has doubts” – but I don’t know whether than means once a year or once a minute!
As for whether it’s strange / wrong / normal / praiseworthy… do these human judgements matter? To me, the important thing is the internal dialogue (whether you consider that to be with God, or with your conscience).
Lots of people seem to believe in an afterlife for no rational reason. So why do they believe it? Because it’s comforting to them. So if I really have no idea about the afterlife, or even think it’s unlikely, what can I believe in to give me comfort? Can I find something in the Christian tradition that works for me? Well, one message we can take from the supposed promise of an afterlife is that death is not to be feared. Simple logic tells us this, but religion can reinforce it. Death is inevitable and natural, and everyone has to go through it. For some it will come sooner than others. So why not live a “risen life” on earth, and make the most of every opportunity that comes our way?
Thanks again for your words, Big Dan!
Regarding “how to find out what people believe”. Actually, I think asking people doesn’t work. Why? First of all, as you say, everybody trivially has some doubts. But secondly, and more importantly, I think we can easily deceive ourselves as to how much we believe. We might THINK that we believe with full confidence. But then, for example, when we’re in times of trouble, our emotions still don’t flow the way they would if we ACTUALLY were fully confident that God is at our side. So, when you ask other people (or yourself) they might tell you that they hardly have doubts. But their behavior proves that, actually, deep down they DO have doubts (even if they’re unaware of them).
Regarding your last paragraph. I am a bit critical of what you say. I think believing something comforting stops being comforting when (i) you believe it BECAUSE it is comforting and (ii) you’re aware of this. Of course, my claim might be too general and there are ways in which we can believe something because it is GOOD (and just because it seems true). But, at least OFTEN, believing something for the sake of its comforting value has this self-undermining effect.
Please tell me if I took that is too blunt of a comment on your remark.
What I find more convincing is to live a “risen life” here on earth. “Eternal” life might not necessarily have to be understood in a temporal manner, in the sense that there’s a sequence of life on earth first and then, secondly, eternal life.
The word “eternal” has many connotations and I’ve quite often in my life had such feelings as “Now, THAT’S life” or “that’s real life” which means something similar to “That’s eternal”. I’ve also heard people speak of the “eternal music of Bach”. So, “eternal” can have meanings such as “the real thing; the thing that makes me take off from my little confined every day cares and makes me feel united with the One; ….”
“I think believing something comforting stops being comforting when (i) you believe it BECAUSE it is comforting and (ii) you’re aware of this. “
I agree, especially with point (ii). However, I think a lot of people aren’t really aware of it. Belief (or at least hope) in an afterlife is culturally ingrained from an early age, even if you didn’t go to Sunday school. (In fact, I wonder if it’s most comforting the bereaved rather than than those about to die?) But I suspect that many people are only semi-aware that they’re just believing it for its own sake, because there are so many people around them telling them it’s true.
“Please tell me if I took that is too blunt of a comment on your remark.”
Hey, I’ve debated on de-conversion.com. I can take anything!
Regarding the eternal life interpretation: I’ve read that the New Testament sense of “eternal life” (e.g. “Teacher, what must I do to gain eternal life?”) is more a sense of “full life” than “afterlife”. I don’t know how true that is, as I’m not a NT Greek scholar, but I certainly like the sound of it.